I don’t take compliments well. Being told I was a good mother has to be one I’ve heard a lot, and it would make me cringe. What was a good mother? I’ve accumulated parenting styles from all the mothers in my life from childhood through adulthood and became a compilation of them. Mostly the best parts, :). I must say that I have pretty incredible children. Both of them are kind, funny, smart and uniquely themselves. I am proud of the people they are becoming but I didn’t know what made me such a good mother. What measured those acts?
Some people said it because of how neat they looked or how well-mannered they were. Some people said it because my children were in a lot of extracurricular activities and made good grades. I hated to hear it. I just set out to make my children whole and the qualifications of a “Good Mother” seemed mediocre at best.
I want/wanted my children to do, well, everything! I didn’t get to do much of anything as a child. No sports. Not much hanging out with friends or even going outside. I also had no real grasp on parenting. I struggled with emotional intelligence, fifteen-year-old me is alive and well at times. I struggled with what I set out to do or the idea of a thing verses the reality of being in the trenches of everyday life, not knowing what the heck I was doing. All while trying to become a whole person myself.
I’ve apologized to my kiddos so much for the countless mistakes I’ve made as the person responsible for keeping them alive until they can do it themselves. I advocate for them. I love on them. I give constructive criticism. I celebrate them and their achievements. I listen. I inform.
I don’t photograph everything we do but what physical evidence I do have of them, is seemingly happy. Only time will tell if the most impactful job I’ll ever have will pay off in one form or another. Until then, I’ll continue to parent them to the best of my ability. I still don’t know about the good mother compliment, I do try to be a good human every day though.
Regular Steph
Something About Stephanie 