Tag: love

My Algorithm had Me Down Bad

I noticed that my feed was a lot of the same over stimulating content about relationships and even some not so favorable political jargon.

Sprinkle in some sewing stuff and one or two motivational channels and that about summed up what I’ve been consuming on a regular basis, lately.

I’d been naturally, progressively changing over the course of this year and it was time to address the timeline.

I’m not on any social media platforms at the moment. It’s been two years and counting since logging off of TikTok and I’d completely given up on instagram the year before that. So I thought those changes were good. My opinions were not changing too much though. I had to purge again.

I have taken to listening to different things on YouTube. Hair content, it’s silk press season and split ends has your girl in a choke hold. Informal interviews on podcasts from some of my favorite artists and people I didn’t know about, sends warm and fuzzies through my mind.

I even explored gritty life stuff. Ladies of the Night and addicts. I’m not opposed to learning from others in any form. Life is something else and people end up living it so many different ways. It’s inspiring to me how so many different folks find courage to share their experiences with strangers on the internet. So I don’t know how I ended up on toxic row.

Somewhere on my exploration I started consuming the relationship bait. Everything was about how terrible men are and how terrible women are. Wife’s hating their lives. Husband doing their wife’s wrong. Mother’s regretting their children. It was a lot. It was sad. And the worst part is that it was filled with folks projecting themselves onto every situation.

If I’ve learned anything in my forty years it’s that you have no idea what you will or will not do or except or be, until you are right there in it. You can create scenario after scenario but until you are faced with the difficult reality you don’t know what you are capable of handling. If you would stick to the boundaries you created. If you are jumping the gun on a situation. You don’t know until it’s happening.

I’m not saying that you can’t learn from others mistakes or take advice from people. But so much of what’s out there in this Information Age is just an abundance of opinions of what people think they would do. We are all different. Every situation is uniquely its own. Just because you are going through something very similar to someone else doesn’t mean you’ll get the results they did.

We each have to make our own choices based on the circumstances of our own situation and hope for the best. Just because someone or something didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t be the best outcome for you and just because something does go well, great even, for someone else doesn’t mean it’ll work out for you either.

I’m saying all that to say, I changed my algorithm. No more relationship stuff. Or crazy political takes. I’ve burnt myself out with the constant stream of delusion. In real life, people are just people living their lives the best they can. “Get off the internet” is one of the best phrases for 2026! lol still read my blog though!

Until next time take care of yourself

Leo Season

I know our season began in July but, there is nothing like an August Leo, I’m just saying. Shout out to all the lovely Leos!

My birthday is truly special to me! My personal holiday even with a twin. I touched on this a little last post. Go and check it out.

Today is about the personality traits of our kind.

Leo’s are natural leaders. I second that motion! We’ll step up and take control when necessary. This trait can feel burdensome at times. As I’ve aged I’ve stepped back from taking control and only apply when I feel safe to do so. Having a supportive team/partner allows me to show up and show out!

That leads me to our next best trait.

Leo’s love attention. This is true but only the right attention from the right person(s). It’s a one woman show under the right circumstances and the audience will leave me with a standing ovation even a party of one.

Leo’s are generous. To a fault at times. Giving makes me happy to see the joy it brings. If you are lucky enough to experience my time, energy, and opinion that means you are special.

Leo’s are loyal, too loyal. Hardest lessons learned being loyal to the wrong folks.

Leo’s have huge hearts. After all this life living, I managed to stay compassionate and understanding. I can be all the sun rays, baby. All of them.

Leo’s bring the drama. Did I mention my one woman show. It’s a dramatic comedy filled with emotional range that would rival Viola Davis, you hear me. Oscar worthy performance but in real life.

Leo’s are confident. You better know it. At some of my darkest moments I still knew, I’m that B*&$! Could never convince me otherwise. Who else is gonna love me like me.

Lastly, and the most important one to me…

Leo’s are creative. Art is life. Adding razzle and dazzle to every aspect of it makes for a beautiful one and I do have a beautiful life!

Counting down the days until the big 4 0.

Thanks for reading. Take care of Yourself.

You’re a Good Mother… Yikes

I don’t take compliments well. Being told I was a good mother has to be one I’ve heard a lot, and it would make me cringe. What was a good mother? I’ve accumulated parenting styles from all the mothers in my life from childhood through adulthood and became a compilation of them. Mostly the best parts, :). I must say that I have pretty incredible children. Both of them are kind, funny, smart and uniquely themselves. I am proud of the people they are becoming but I didn’t know what made me such a good mother. What measured those acts?

Some people said it because of how neat they looked or how well-mannered they were. Some people said it because my children were in a lot of extracurricular activities and made good grades. I hated to hear it. I just set out to make my children whole and the qualifications of a “Good Mother” seemed mediocre at best.

I want/wanted my children to do, well, everything! I didn’t get to do much of anything as a child. No sports. Not much hanging out with friends or even going outside. I also had no real grasp on parenting. I struggled with emotional intelligence, fifteen-year-old me is alive and well at times. I struggled with what I set out to do or the idea of a thing verses the reality of being in the trenches of everyday life, not knowing what the heck I was doing. All while trying to become a whole person myself.

I’ve apologized to my kiddos so much for the countless mistakes I’ve made as the person responsible for keeping them alive until they can do it themselves. I advocate for them. I love on them. I give constructive criticism. I celebrate them and their achievements. I listen. I inform.

I don’t photograph everything we do but what physical evidence I do have of them, is seemingly happy. Only time will tell if the most impactful job I’ll ever have will pay off in one form or another. Until then, I’ll continue to parent them to the best of my ability. I still don’t know about the good mother compliment, I do try to be a good human every day though.

Regular Steph

Daily writing prompt
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
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