life – Something About Stephanie

My Body was Telling Me Something

Every ache and every pain was my body communicating with me. It was saying don’t sleep that way or run like that. My body was saying stretch more and hydrate better.

My sister once advised me that my hair would tell me what it liked when I decided to start my natural hair journey. Like, wear my curls. My hair responded to different products in different ways. Some products made my hair feel soft and my curls pop. Other products made my hair feel dry and brittle. Trial and error was short lived.

I gave up land animals eight years ago. One of the first things I noticed after I stopped eating meat was my body odor. Lol, I can’t believe I’m sharing this but it’s true. I didn’t smell the same. I smelled better. My musk wasn’t musty anymore. It was a mild odor. Barely there.

I stopped eating potato chips. They made my legs swell. My steps felt heavy and I love to walk. The swelling affected that. It was from the salt and processed flavoring. I went to the doctor about the swelling and was prescribed water pills. I never took them.

I felt inclined to lean in more to the cause of the problem. Took inventory on what I ate. I don’t consider myself a terrible eater. I eat plenty of vegetables and drink tons of water. So it didn’t take me long to realize what the causes were. It turns out that anytime I need to figure out what is going on with me, the process of elimination leads me to the culprit.

I gave up candy. The sugar caused my whole body to swell. My face and hands especially. Not having sugar after a day gave me terrible headaches for a couple days. My body went through withdrawal because of sugar. I thought I was overreacting but once I hadn’t had sweets for a few days, the headaches were gone and I noticed that I didn’t wake up swollen.

I ate candy for Halloween this year and I woke up feeling bad. The swelling was back. It only reinforced the fact that I’ll continue to stay away from candy.

Tortilla chips constipate me. I do eat them every now and then. I love chips and salsa so I have to enjoy it sparingly.

Ice cream is another one. Can’t have it. Ice cream causes violent stomach pains and terrible gas. Nice cream is a wonderful replacement. I want to learn how to make it myself. There’s so many chemicals in the none dairy ice creams. I want to cut the chemicals out.

There are other things but I’ve shared enough for now.

So many of our problems can be solved if we stopped and paid attention to ourselves. So, slow down and look within.

Until next time, take care of yourself!

My Algorithm had Me Down Bad

I noticed that my feed was a lot of the same over stimulating content about relationships and even some not so favorable political jargon.

Sprinkle in some sewing stuff and one or two motivational channels and that about summed up what I’ve been consuming on a regular basis, lately.

I’d been naturally, progressively changing over the course of this year and it was time to address the timeline.

I’m not on any social media platforms at the moment. It’s been two years and counting since logging off of TikTok and I’d completely given up on instagram the year before that. So I thought those changes were good. My opinions were not changing too much though. I had to purge again.

I have taken to listening to different things on YouTube. Hair content, it’s silk press season and split ends has your girl in a choke hold. Informal interviews on podcasts from some of my favorite artists and people I didn’t know about, sends warm and fuzzies through my mind.

I even explored gritty life stuff. Ladies of the Night and addicts. I’m not opposed to learning from others in any form. Life is something else and people end up living it so many different ways. It’s inspiring to me how so many different folks find courage to share their experiences with strangers on the internet. So I don’t know how I ended up on toxic row.

Somewhere on my exploration I started consuming the relationship bait. Everything was about how terrible men are and how terrible women are. Wife’s hating their lives. Husband doing their wife’s wrong. Mother’s regretting their children. It was a lot. It was sad. And the worst part is that it was filled with folks projecting themselves onto every situation.

If I’ve learned anything in my forty years it’s that you have no idea what you will or will not do or except or be, until you are right there in it. You can create scenario after scenario but until you are faced with the difficult reality you don’t know what you are capable of handling. If you would stick to the boundaries you created. If you are jumping the gun on a situation. You don’t know until it’s happening.

I’m not saying that you can’t learn from others mistakes or take advice from people. But so much of what’s out there in this Information Age is just an abundance of opinions of what people think they would do. We are all different. Every situation is uniquely its own. Just because you are going through something very similar to someone else doesn’t mean you’ll get the results they did.

We each have to make our own choices based on the circumstances of our own situation and hope for the best. Just because someone or something didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t be the best outcome for you and just because something does go well, great even, for someone else doesn’t mean it’ll work out for you either.

I’m saying all that to say, I changed my algorithm. No more relationship stuff. Or crazy political takes. I’ve burnt myself out with the constant stream of delusion. In real life, people are just people living their lives the best they can. “Get off the internet” is one of the best phrases for 2026! lol still read my blog though!

Until next time take care of yourself

SEW, WHATS BEEN GOING ON?!

Happy New Year! I’ve been getting me together. 2024 was a year of growth. Can you guess that I learned to sew!

The completed construction of my 1st pants

Sewing was something I desired to learn for a long time. Initially I thought I needed a special machine for left-handed people. I found out that didn’t matter.

My husband gifted me a sewing machine the Christmas of 2023 and it sat for a few months while I tried to find in-person classes.

YouTube University was not that helpful. I had to watch too many videos from different people to kinda get close to what I needed to learn and no matter how much I tried the bobbin didn’t set right. The frustration could’ve blown my head off.

I found a sewing machine shop online, close enough to me and took my machine there to get a little help. The associate showed me how to do it lickity split. I needed to get instructions from a real person. This shop did not offer classes. Not even Joann’s offered classes anymore. Covid was the culprit. The correction was so simple. I was over thinking it and the resolve opened up a whole new world for me.

Knowing how to set the bobbin, I started playing around with stitches. Seeing how straight I could keep my lines.

Sewing is so practical. A skill that I can use for pleasure and necessity. To practice more sewing without knowing much more, I began mending my kiddo’s bath towels and wash clothes. Some of the ends had unraveled on perfectly good towels. The refresh made them look new again.

The towels inspired me to do another refresh. This time with our dirty laundry thingy. All three bags had molded in the bottoms and along the top where we set the wet clothes. I tried washing them before and to no avail, the mold did not come out. I decided to change the material to something I could wash in the laundry just the same. Walmart sells pre-cut material in various colors and styles, from one yard to four. I picked some up and attempted to make my first bag!

It turned out okay. Definitely gave me confidence to keep going. I wish I had a better picture of how I attached the fold over flap on the laundry thingy. Lol, the Velcro slid off the first time we hung a wet cloth over it. Not to mention, I broke two needles attempting to sew the Velcro down. The amount of safety pins I lined the flap with was ridiculous. By the end of the 2024 I remade them all. I even learned how to add buttons.

Midsummer, I started sewing classes! I’m learning from a well-seasoned dress maker too. She’s sewn for 50 years. Becoming a student again has its own set of challenges and I’m grateful for my growth.

The first project was to make a bag. I made the bag for my son. He carried his cooking club supplies in it. I showed him how to construct an apron too. We used a one-size-fits-all pattern and added some details.

In-person classes made following YouTube University much easier. The apron was a way to familiarize myself with working with a pattern and also introduce sewing to my children. Again, sewing is a necessity if you ask me and they will learn it early.

I made bathing suit bottoms! I needed a silver suit for a coordinated event and the bottoms that came with the suit did not fit my Big Ol booty. I decided to try my hand at crafting some and they turned out pretty good. I lined the inside and used non-roll elastic to keep the bottoms in place. Look at the match-up. Can’t tell the difference.

My pink pants are the finished second project from class. I chose a simple enough pattern with some detailing like the pinched line down the front of the legs. I’m so proud of this accomplishment.

The pattern was not my size. Sizing can be tricky because you don’t go by the size you wear from a store. You have to take your own measurements and pick be sure to pick the proper size in your pattern. This was pattern number two for me. I returned 5 patterns from this mishap; they were all too small. From this, I made holiday pants for my family! Look at those pockets.

I added the drawstrings and did the pinched line. Used different pattered fabric to achieve this look. Snowmen and mittens go together like peanut butter and jelly. The girls got that and the guys’ combination was gingerbread men and plaid.

Lol the pants were so big on the kids. I did mismatch panels on their pants and went with mismatch legs on the parents. Christmas was good. I love my family, and I can’t wait to share my next project with you!

Thanks for reading.

Take Care of Yourself

You’re a Good Mother… Yikes

I don’t take compliments well. Being told I was a good mother has to be one I’ve heard a lot, and it would make me cringe. What was a good mother? I’ve accumulated parenting styles from all the mothers in my life from childhood through adulthood and became a compilation of them. Mostly the best parts, :). I must say that I have pretty incredible children. Both of them are kind, funny, smart and uniquely themselves. I am proud of the people they are becoming but I didn’t know what made me such a good mother. What measured those acts?

Some people said it because of how neat they looked or how well-mannered they were. Some people said it because my children were in a lot of extracurricular activities and made good grades. I hated to hear it. I just set out to make my children whole and the qualifications of a “Good Mother” seemed mediocre at best.

I want/wanted my children to do, well, everything! I didn’t get to do much of anything as a child. No sports. Not much hanging out with friends or even going outside. I also had no real grasp on parenting. I struggled with emotional intelligence, fifteen-year-old me is alive and well at times. I struggled with what I set out to do or the idea of a thing verses the reality of being in the trenches of everyday life, not knowing what the heck I was doing. All while trying to become a whole person myself.

I’ve apologized to my kiddos so much for the countless mistakes I’ve made as the person responsible for keeping them alive until they can do it themselves. I advocate for them. I love on them. I give constructive criticism. I celebrate them and their achievements. I listen. I inform.

I don’t photograph everything we do but what physical evidence I do have of them, is seemingly happy. Only time will tell if the most impactful job I’ll ever have will pay off in one form or another. Until then, I’ll continue to parent them to the best of my ability. I still don’t know about the good mother compliment, I do try to be a good human every day though.

Regular Steph

Daily writing prompt

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

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