I’ve Made Up My Mind

I’ve made up my mind.

Literally stick a fork in me, done!

Today is the day I’ve decided to give it all I got.

I’ve been testing the waters over the last few years. I’m over ready to launch (giggle). Testing to see what I’m capable of, trying anything I took an interest in and I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to explore myself.

At this moment, I’m thinking of stopping.

I won’t because I just auto renewed this blog. That means it’s costing me money to take up space that I haven’t used.

Use it or lose it.

I’ve wanted to write since I was a child.

Coming up with a theme for this space has been a challenge. I don’t care to talk about anything but ME. (laughing in real life) The name I entitled this space would seem like a no-brainer but it’s been hard deciding what aspects of myself do I want to write about. I’ve covered a few different sides of me, but I wanted to focus on one thing and that unnecessary expectation made it difficult for me to commit to writing at all.

I’m physically going through so much as I approach forty. Night sweats and sleepless nights. Tossing and turning. Cover on, covers off. I’m in perimenopause by the way.

(By The Way is imperative for me. Hello! I’m Captain Obvious. She is me.)

I’m aging like fine wine. Still, aging comes with its blatantly obvious mental, emotional and PHYSICAL changes that I want to explore more, here.

I have the time on Saturday mornings. Saturdays are slow in this house.

The house is quiet and I get so much done while my family sleeps.

See You Next Time!

SEW, WHATS BEEN GOING ON?!

Happy New Year! I’ve been getting me together. 2024 was a year of growth. Can you guess that I learned to sew!

The completed construction of my 1st pants

Sewing was something I desired to learn for a long time. Initially I thought I needed a special machine for left-handed people. I found out that didn’t matter.

My husband gifted me a sewing machine the Christmas of 2023 and it sat for a few months while I tried to find in-person classes.

Singer “Heavy Duty”

YouTube University was not that helpful. I had to watch too many videos from different people to kinda get close to what I needed to learn and no matter how much I tried the bobbin didn’t set right. The frustration could’ve blown my head off.

I found a sewing machine shop online, close enough to me and took my machine there to get a little help. The associate showed me how to do it lickity split. I needed to get instructions from a real person. This shop did not offer classes. Not even Joann’s offered classes anymore. Covid was the culprit. The correction was so simple. I was over thinking it and the resolve opened up a whole new world for me.

Knowing how to set the bobbin, I started playing around with stitches. Seeing how straight I could keep my lines.

Sewing is so practical. A skill that I can use for pleasure and necessity. To practice more sewing without knowing much more, I began mending my kiddo’s bath towels and wash clothes. Some of the ends had unraveled on perfectly good towels. The refresh made them look new again.

It was hard staying straight

The towels inspired me to do another refresh. This time with our dirty laundry thingy. All three bags had molded in the bottoms and along the top where we set the wet clothes. I tried washing them before and to no avail, the mold did not come out. I decided to change the material to something I could wash in the laundry just the same. Walmart sells pre-cut material in various colors and styles, from one yard to four. I picked some up and attempted to make my first bag!

First bag using Velcro
Cropped image Courtesy of my Son 🤗

It turned out okay. Definitely gave me confidence to keep going. I wish I had a better picture of how I attached the fold over flap on the laundry thingy. Lol, the Velcro slid off the first time we hung a wet cloth over it. Not to mention, I broke two needles attempting to sew the Velcro down. The amount of safety pins I lined the flap with was ridiculous. By the end of the 2024 I remade them all. I even learned how to add buttons.

Midsummer, I started sewing classes! I’m learning from a well-seasoned dress maker too. She’s sewn for 50 years. Becoming a student again has its own set of challenges and I’m grateful for my growth.

The first project was to make a bag. I made the bag for my son. He carried his cooking club supplies in it. I showed him how to construct an apron too. We used a one-size-fits-all pattern and added some details.

In-person classes made following YouTube University much easier. The apron was a way to familiarize myself with working with a pattern and also introduce sewing to my children. Again, sewing is a necessity if you ask me and they will learn it early.

I made bathing suit bottoms! I needed a silver suit for a coordinated event and the bottoms that came with the suit did not fit my Big Ol booty. I decided to try my hand at crafting some and they turned out pretty good. I lined the inside and used non-roll elastic to keep the bottoms in place. Look at the match-up. Can’t tell the difference.

My pink pants are the finished second project from class. I chose a simple enough pattern with some detailing like the pinched line down the front of the legs. I’m so proud of this accomplishment.

The pattern was not my size. Sizing can be tricky because you don’t go by the size you wear from a store. You have to take your own measurements and pick be sure to pick the proper size in your pattern. This was pattern number two for me. I returned 5 patterns from this mishap; they were all too small. From this, I made holiday pants for my family! Look at those pockets.

I added the drawstrings and did the pinched line. Used different pattered fabric to achieve this look. Snowmen and mittens go together like peanut butter and jelly. The girls got that and the guys’ combination was gingerbread men and plaid.

Lol the pants were so big on the kids. I did mismatch panels on their pants and went with mismatch legs on the parents. Christmas was good. I love my family, and I can’t wait to share my next project with you!

Thanks for reading.

Take Care of Yourself

Thirty-nine n Fine!

I will spend this year as a verb!

If it doesn’t bring me Joy, let it pass me.

If it’s sent to do harm, Lord spare me.

I am abundant, my cup runs over.

I love and I will be loved.

My life is amazing, and I am so grateful for it. Everything that has happened has brought me to this space.

I will learn and grow like never before.

I am calm

I am beautiful.

I am Love

Books on Books on Books

Bedside NicNac

I’m doing an appreciation post for books and bookcases!

I didn’t grow up a lover of books. I think I struggled with comprehension as a child. I made good grades though. I feel like, and I’m aware this isn’t unique to me, that I just was good at copy and repeat and once I didn’t need the information anymore, out it went. I would have to reread passages in textbooks so much in school, I wasn’t gonna look at a book once I made it home. It was too much! Unfortunately, reading felt boring .

I didn’t began exploring novels until my teen years. My aunt gave my sisters and I a bin full of Jackie Collin’s and Patricia Cornwell’s books! What a ride and honestly, the crazy, action packed, drama filled pages, reeled me in and started a journey into the book lover I am today.

Book End, Catcher of Books- one of our furniture pieces!

When I became an adult I discovered the Library! Lol, I’d been to the library, hello, those book reports in elementary school did not write themselves. The visits were an extension of school work, I wasn’t interested as a child. I’d peruse the aisles of my local library and pick books that stuck out to me in whatever way; the title, the cover, or the summary inside. During this time is when I had the realization that I reread a lot and practiced reading slower, listening to myself and comprehension got better.

I checked books out of the library for a while. Back then I moved around a lot so carrying heavy books from place to place wasn’t ideal. I had 50 pairs of jeans and a mean coat and shoe collection, can you say bag lady, lol. I stopped buying pants and started buying books! I don’t solely buy physical books. I bought digital ones too. My library continues to grow. The kiddos love to read, as well. I fostered a love of reading earlier in them and I’m grateful. They’ve added books on shelves inside of there virtual Roblox worlds and that just makes me proud!

Pin from Pinterest

The mood has been set and I’m loving it! This setup is right up my alley. Even though Ive obtained stability, to many books scare me. The minimal amount of books makes me think they’re on the same page as me!

Pinterest pin #2

Oohhh, I love bench seating in a home, in a kitchen! I have benches in multiple rooms. You can never go wrong with a great bench and this one is done so well! This built-in is perfect. More books, still not to many. Makes you want to sit by the window with tea and a good Thriller.

Pinterest Pin #3

Okay, ok, I saved the best for last. The whole space is just Devine! This would be the most ideal bookshelf situation I’d be comfortable with. Books to the max, not overwhelming. Although, can you really be overwhelmed by books?! Maybe, for the oddie bodies out there.

Oh, the light fixture in this room is definitely goals!

Decorate however you like, with as many books you desire.

And I’ll continue to do the same!

Take Care of Yourself

FANCY GUDS

If I’m creating it, its Fancy!

I’ve mentioned my leather crafts before. It’s a growing hobby and I love it! I took a class at a leather supply store and made a wallet. I did not, however, get a single picture before, during or after the class. Here’s an image of the wallet that I took at home.

It was a wallet kit, so it was precut with the holes already punched in place. The class consisted of aligning the leather and learning the basic saddle stitch. Something I knew from YouTube University. There’s nothing like in person learning, you know. It’s just better and I say that as a visual learner. Anyway, I learned a new technique and really enjoyed being with folks that love this craft as well.

Once home, I wanted more so I googled wallet templets and got to work!

Wallet #2

I started making the wallet before I took pictures, again. I decided to take a pic of the cutout. I liked this one. The inside fold, I felt, made the wallet to thick. I did like the front pocket but this one wasn’t it. So on to the next…

Wallet #3 and its parts!

This design was closer to what I imagined as a simple wallet. I printed the templet, cut it out and traced the shape. Cutting the curved corners was a bit tricky. I’ll be investing in the corner cutting tool next! I also had to create my own holes on this one. I stopped short of the corners, I really loved the look of not having the holes line all the way around.

Then I got to work! Stitching leather requires a lot of elbow grease so remember to relax your shoulders.

I’m stitching this side!
My girl, trying her hand at the bottom half.

I also learned how to measure the proper amount of thread so you don’t have too much excess. three times the section or side and I promise it will be just the right length.

Working on the edges

The smoother the cut, the easier it will be to prep the edges for sealing them. I used an angled blade which I did not like, the tip dulled fast and I needed to go back over the cut several times to detach my pieces. I’ve also used scissors, they work better for now. I’ll be investing in more tools.

All stitched up!
I left a raw edge.
Cards fit perfectly!

So much fun crafting number 3! Simple and functional. I this point I’d finished sealing the edges and was done.

With each project I get better and better. All of my prototypes will serve their purpose. I’ll eventually gift the best ones to family. Until then, I’ll be crafting, fine tuning my skills.

Take Care of Yourself

Fun-er Summer!

School’s out!

I’ve been a SAH mom for a DECADE! It’s crazy to even think about it. I’m just a girl! When did it all change? I’ll have to explore in another post… Anyways, I always fill our summers with activities from trips to camps with libraries and a body of water in between, let’s just say we have fun in the summertime.

Covid changed all that though. We slowed things down and it was good for us. We did more on the inside. Started doing journal prompts and practicing boredom. I think the lockdown and pandemic helped me create better balance in my life. I didn’t realize how much of my busy schedule was masking an avoidance of other things within myself. So, bringing everything down a notch was something I needed and benefited from on so many levels.

This year both of my children experienced a milestone in our lives. My phenomenal daughter graduated middle school and will be entering 9th grade (I can’t believe she’s in high school) in the fall. My incredible son graduated elementary school and will began his middle school career in the fall. No more babies in our house. The pitter-patter has ceased. Bumping in full affect. It’s such a bittersweet feeling though. All the change headed our way.

Summer planning has changed. Gone are the days of weekly zoo visits and children museums. It’s gotten harder to meet everyone’s needs including my own because the kids cultivated their own interests. Most of the time it’s hard to align their schedules which makes me, the taxi service, an all-day affair. The one thing they both could agree on is going home to Michigan to visit Grandma.

Most of our families are there so they get to see cousins and great aunts, uncles and family friends. Somebody will have a cookout and they will hang out with them. They’ll cruise with the windows down to get ice cream and hangout late a time or two. Somebody will ask if I’m their mother because of how much they favor me. Take a walk to the corner store in the neighborhood. They will wake up to a grandma breakfast, nothing could compare. There will be impromptu adventures waiting on them. I had to schedule in some structure, lol they will be gone for a month, after all. So, the both of them are enrolled in a couple day camps to even out the “lazy summer days”. It’s gonna be fun!

I’ll have some free time.

I’ll be planning out a few things for myself. I’ve been in Texas for seven years and there are several things I’ve been wanting to see and do. I’ll be planning a few weekend road trips, can’t wait to write about it!

Until next time,

Take Care of Yourself!

Five Days, No Power

I feel like our government needs to fund repairs after natural disasters! Places like here expect storm damage and we should make a tax for it and have company’s already in place to start repairs.

Let me set the scene…

We are all dresses up, looking good. On our way to our son’s monumental elementary school graduation. Traffic is thick, but we make it in enough time for our son to attend his class dinner before the students are seated for the ceremony. We find our seats. Folks are ready to hoot and holler for their child’s accomplishments.

My son’s class will go up in the middle of the thing. The first class has lined up. Yay! Go students! Lights flicker. The crowd began to rumble a bit. Everyone calms down, phones start going off, alerting everyone that severe weather has hit our neighborhood. My phone doesn’t alert. I ask my sister was it an Amber Alert? No. My phone begins to sound off like the others. A tornado is in our area, and we need to shelter in place. The wind begins to whip, everyone gets uncomfortable. the lights go out. They come back on for a second and back out again. This is all happening so fast. Emergency lights turn on and the staff begins to ask for people to not go outside, stay where we are. Our group ushers out into the hallway to assess the state of the storm and outside is a blur. So much rain and wind. We remain in the hallway to allow the storm to pass. More people are pouring into the hallway. Word spread that a tree has fallen on a vehicle parked in the front of the parking lot. Folks become visibly unsettled, anxious even. I feel like everything happened in a fifteen-minute span. The wind slows and we can see outside. The rain lightens and people began to leave the school. We head out too.

The drive was slow. Not because of the rain but because of the debris. Tree limbs and flimsy fence panels are littered on the streets. All traffic lights are out on the roads leading home. There’s a trampoline on the shoulder of the freeway to our right. It was lifted from a nearby outdoor play place company. The trampoline became air born and landed on the freeway blocking the lane. As we ride, I’m driving, we just see more and more debris. An eighteen-wheeler is on its side to our left. It felt unreal. Barely any cars are driving on the roads. Pulling into our neighborhood, several large trees had been uprooted. Some blocking the streets others falling onto houses, leaving devastating damage.

Our home is safe. Our neighbors are out in the street, working together, removing large tree limbs. Humanity wins! People do come together in times of dispair. We get inside and assess our surroundings. No Power! The whole neighborhood is out. Thank goodness for daylight. The temperature has dropped. We all change our clothes into something move-around proof and head back outside. I grab a sweater, its cold. The tree that’s laying on a rooftop that we immediately noticed driving in is where we head first. There have been several severe storms since moving to Texas that we never experienced before. The devastation is palpable. Folks are all out in the streets assessing and observing. Several men are in action trying their best to move the limbs that they can. The community was communing. You never really realize the size of a thing until its dead smack in front of your face. Tree branches are humungous!

Night hits. My husband is back from getting gas for the generator. Sidenote: everyone should invest in one of those things. We also have a gas stove which allowed for cooking. Along with having a generator, I’m most grateful for clean running water. During the cold freeze, we had to boil water and that wasn’t fun. We needed to store the water that we boiled for drinking and bathing and that was challenging. After setting up the necessities and figuring out the luxuries, thanks to technology, we could access two televisions and used our hotspots to watch. Because the temperature had dropped significantly the first night was actually pleasant. It felt like a glamping trip.

Day two was adjusting to the aftermath and gaining better understanding of the storm. Looking up local news stations, learning about the surrounding areas. The weather was still good, making the day and night go as smoothly as possible. Day three is when things got real. This Texas heat! By the morning of the third day, upstairs was inhabitable. We also have a portable air conditioner that we set up to cool the downstairs off as best it could. We were comfortable. Falling back into power outage routine was like muscle memory, we are not new to this. We true to the hunker down storm life in Texas. Keep gas and get creative with time. It was the night of the third day that lead us to purchase a few fans too. The air conditioner couldn’t reach every corner and the humidity was kicking in.

Day four was surreal. The city was back to normal and there were pockets of neighborhoods that were still without power. Large pockets and scattered. So, some were without a care while others were suffering. School was back in session so we sent the kids to get a bit of normalness and hoped for power every day but on that day, we prayed that it would come back on. It did not! We had to get through another hot night.

Day five. The school picked up where they left off with the graduation during school hours so parents weren’t able to attend. Our daughter’s graduation had to be rescheduled. It was the day after our son’s original graduation and now it was on the same day. All day long, doing the prep for her graduation my fingers were crossed, hoping that the power would come back on. We sent the kiddos to school with everything they needed for the events during and after school because traffic was still terrible around us and there was no need for error. We could not just get back home or run up to the school if they needed or forgot something. It’s time to leave for the event and still no power. The sky was blue with no storm clouds in sight. We travel to the school. Sit through the graduation. catch up with friends and head home. We killed as much time as we could but home was where we all wanted to be.

On the ride back, I had to break it to the kids that we hadn’t gotten the power back up to us coming to the school and we did not know if it was back on yet. I must admit, even my morale was low but what can you do. My son definitely had the blues and so we prayed and thanked the Lord for the comforts we had experienced during such a trying time. Even though we all wanted the power back. We wanted to sleep comfortably in our own beds. Mundanely look in the fridge several times at the same options available to us. We just wanted what was normal. We had to face the fact that the power might still be out. That we would have had to bear another night of awkward sleep. We still fared better than most. We were together and functioning better than most. We understood that complaining wasn’t going to help us and no matter what conflicting emotions we were having it sucks to not have power.

As we drive home, we notice that every streetlight was working, and businesses were back running, and traffic was flowing. We drive into the neighborhood and pull into the driveway. I press the opener for the garage, and it opens!!!! We scream with joy.

Severe storms are happening more and more all over the country. If you can invest in a few of what I consider, essential items, generator, portable air conditioner, extension cords and fans, please do. Having access to electricity when power goes out helps tremendously.

Until next time…

Take Care of Yourself!

Tote’s (bag) Cool!

I’m finally posting about the tote! It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me. I made two bags, I must confess. I hated the first bag so much. The second bag turned out much better.

Bag #1 Bag #2

I had left over material from the cow bench, another one of my hand-crafted items. I love creating and building things. Using my hands to craft my ideas gives me, simply put, joy!

Back to the story at hand, the tote. I was eager to try again after the first bag because the process wasn’t complicated. Step by step cutting the sides of the bag, scaling the straps and determining the size and mood of the bag. Bag #1 I learned the most on, so many mistakes! Still, the process intrigued my soul. The most fun was the inside of the second tote. Hand stitching leather and sealing edges, oohhhh I just loved it.

Bag #1 (Lots of mistakes, wrong thread, uneven pieces, bunched up sewing under lining)

Adding trim and extra support for the handles

Bag #1 images are a little out of order. You get the picture! My favorite part of the first bag were the handles. I loved making those, the design gave it texture and I wanted them to stand out.

Bag #2 ( I did not get as many images as I intended. I would have liked to show a threading image. Next time!)

I ordered more supplies. I had the right thread this go around and a few new tools that made it easier to thread. I took better measurements and more precise cuts (Side note: use a blade instead of scissors). I’m pacing myself with supplies. I’ve had several interests in other hobbies that I’ve lost momentum in after purchasing tools for those hobbies. I don’t want to do that with leather crafts. Something about this feels like more than a hobby for me. I enjoyed the material so much. I used cow hide and a stiffer shoulder cut of that smooth brown hide you see in the photo. I’ve signed up for a class and watched several videos from different crafters. Learning about the different types of leather. What’s the best leather for making jackets and furniture, threading techniques, thickness and so on. I know what I ‘d like to craft next!

Take Care of Yourself!

You Don’t Have a Mid-Life Crisis. You Have a Mid-Life Awakening!

The plan is to live long. I’m definitely in the mid life range, according to life expectancy. And after moving in my early thirties, with my husband and two children, across the country, that is when my LIFE began. Until then, I had not explored the depths of me, I was in shallow waters. And I actually thought I understood myself at least a tiny bit. I didn’t.

Lots more therapy and lots more grace.

Who I was began to leave me as soon as I left. Fast forward seven years and this is where I am. I needed to go deeper. I had to learn to tread water. I had to keep my head afloat until I got stronger. I’d go further and further until I reached a floor. Ha, this metaphor is kinda cool.

I needed to understand my why’s. Why did I do this or that? My parenting style. Why I had chosen my partner? Why I’m so hard on myself? You get it. The unlearning of all the shits. The clarity of what I wanted out of life.

It’s been messy.

Things are definitely shaken up; they have been for a while. The truth is that I wasn’t a “green” girl anymore. I understood autonomy. I understand choice. We all have a choice! Even when the odds are stacked up against us, we can choose. That hasn’t always been the case. My mom had less choices than me and her mother had less choices than her.

So, the awareness of my newfound ability took some adjusting (I’m still adjusting). Fine tuning my strings, learning to assert myself.

It’s been a rocky journey.

Sometimes I’ve been to forceful, sometimes I’ve coward away from the uncomfortable, sometimes I’ve been too needy, and sometimes, I get it right. I’m heard, seen and understood. What a feeling!

Saying NO!

It gets lonely. Isolating even.

Calls from telemarketers are the highlight. The same three familiar names in my call log. Conscious of what all this means. Even now, I’ll take it. I have to just be. Do nothing. Experience the outcome of my lack. When I stopped, people stopped. Stuff stopped. How jarring to understand that it’s all been orchestrated.

So, I’m sitting in it now. Feeling my feelings. Accepting what it is because “it” wasn’t what I thought it was anyway.

Be Kind to YourSelf

The Little Things

No matter how much we are programed to think that we are all the same, we are not. Well, we are not as different as we’ve perceived each other to be either! This applies to everyone and everything. Having moved away in my early thirties from the city I was born and raised in. I got a startling reality check of the similarities amongst different racial groups, that I’m almost embarrassed to admit, I believed were nothing alike. In my ignorance, I had no idea that other races even mixed.

We live in America, captain obvious here. If a person was mixed in this country, they were either mixed with White or Black. The most common mix is White and Black but guess what, that is not the only combination that exist! There are all types of beautiful multi-raced folks in this world and leaving my little, narrowminded surroundings opened me up to all the other possibilities.

As I continued to observe and learn more about my new uncharted territory, I saw the little things made us all unique. Things like hair styles and makeup. Popular car brands and articles of clothing. The way bread was cooked or even rice. Besides our inherent physical differences, the very slight variations of the way we each did a thing made it, a thing that turned into a practice or belief or tradition. It became a Mexican thing or a Turkish thing. A religious thing or a vegan thing. I like to think that I’m so different in so many ways, but the truth is I’m very much like so many other humans cluelessly experiencing life on this planet.

I think its beautiful to do something, anything in a particular way. Just know that we all have a special way of doing the same things!

Be kind to yourself

Daily writing prompt
Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?