stephieminion

My Body was Telling Me Something

Every ache and every pain was my body communicating with me. It was saying don’t sleep that way or run like that. My body was saying stretch more and hydrate better.

My sister once advised me that my hair would tell me what it liked when I decided to start my natural hair journey. Like, wear my curls. My hair responded to different products in different ways. Some products made my hair feel soft and my curls pop. Other products made my hair feel dry and brittle. Trial and error was short lived.

I gave up land animals eight years ago. One of the first things I noticed after I stopped eating meat was my body odor. Lol, I can’t believe I’m sharing this but it’s true. I didn’t smell the same. I smelled better. My musk wasn’t musty anymore. It was a mild odor. Barely there.

I stopped eating potato chips. They made my legs swell. My steps felt heavy and I love to walk. The swelling affected that. It was from the salt and processed flavoring. I went to the doctor about the swelling and was prescribed water pills. I never took them.

I felt inclined to lean in more to the cause of the problem. Took inventory on what I ate. I don’t consider myself a terrible eater. I eat plenty of vegetables and drink tons of water. So it didn’t take me long to realize what the causes were. It turns out that anytime I need to figure out what is going on with me, the process of elimination leads me to the culprit.

I gave up candy. The sugar caused my whole body to swell. My face and hands especially. Not having sugar after a day gave me terrible headaches for a couple days. My body went through withdrawal because of sugar. I thought I was overreacting but once I hadn’t had sweets for a few days, the headaches were gone and I noticed that I didn’t wake up swollen.

I ate candy for Halloween this year and I woke up feeling bad. The swelling was back. It only reinforced the fact that I’ll continue to stay away from candy.

Tortilla chips constipate me. I do eat them every now and then. I love chips and salsa so I have to enjoy it sparingly.

Ice cream is another one. Can’t have it. Ice cream causes violent stomach pains and terrible gas. Nice cream is a wonderful replacement. I want to learn how to make it myself. There’s so many chemicals in the none dairy ice creams. I want to cut the chemicals out.

There are other things but I’ve shared enough for now.

So many of our problems can be solved if we stopped and paid attention to ourselves. So, slow down and look within.

Until next time, take care of yourself!

Adult Halloween is the Next Wave

I don’t know about your neighborhood but ours was pretty empty of trick-a-treaters! I mean there’s never been this overwhelming amount of children in my neighborhood but this year was pretty much DEAD!

I propose we turn it PG-Adult! We set up tables with mini appetizers and mocktails. We dress up and parade our streets with music and a good time.

I’m a mom. The kiddos are getting older and what will we do?! Let Halloween go, hell no!

Let’s refocus our efforts to adults! Make it a block party. Maybe some folks do this already maybe not. Something has to change though. The kids are far and few between now a days and the magic of Halloween cannot die.

So who’s with me, let’s keep imagination alive

Until next time. Take care of yourself

My Algorithm had Me Down Bad

I noticed that my feed was a lot of the same over stimulating content about relationships and even some not so favorable political jargon.

Sprinkle in some sewing stuff and one or two motivational channels and that about summed up what I’ve been consuming on a regular basis, lately.

I’d been naturally, progressively changing over the course of this year and it was time to address the timeline.

I’m not on any social media platforms at the moment. It’s been two years and counting since logging off of TikTok and I’d completely given up on instagram the year before that. So I thought those changes were good. My opinions were not changing too much though. I had to purge again.

I have taken to listening to different things on YouTube. Hair content, it’s silk press season and split ends has your girl in a choke hold. Informal interviews on podcasts from some of my favorite artists and people I didn’t know about, sends warm and fuzzies through my mind.

I even explored gritty life stuff. Ladies of the Night and addicts. I’m not opposed to learning from others in any form. Life is something else and people end up living it so many different ways. It’s inspiring to me how so many different folks find courage to share their experiences with strangers on the internet. So I don’t know how I ended up on toxic row.

Somewhere on my exploration I started consuming the relationship bait. Everything was about how terrible men are and how terrible women are. Wife’s hating their lives. Husband doing their wife’s wrong. Mother’s regretting their children. It was a lot. It was sad. And the worst part is that it was filled with folks projecting themselves onto every situation.

If I’ve learned anything in my forty years it’s that you have no idea what you will or will not do or except or be, until you are right there in it. You can create scenario after scenario but until you are faced with the difficult reality you don’t know what you are capable of handling. If you would stick to the boundaries you created. If you are jumping the gun on a situation. You don’t know until it’s happening.

I’m not saying that you can’t learn from others mistakes or take advice from people. But so much of what’s out there in this Information Age is just an abundance of opinions of what people think they would do. We are all different. Every situation is uniquely its own. Just because you are going through something very similar to someone else doesn’t mean you’ll get the results they did.

We each have to make our own choices based on the circumstances of our own situation and hope for the best. Just because someone or something didn’t work out for someone else, doesn’t mean it won’t be the best outcome for you and just because something does go well, great even, for someone else doesn’t mean it’ll work out for you either.

I’m saying all that to say, I changed my algorithm. No more relationship stuff. Or crazy political takes. I’ve burnt myself out with the constant stream of delusion. In real life, people are just people living their lives the best they can. “Get off the internet” is one of the best phrases for 2026! lol still read my blog though!

Until next time take care of yourself

I Promised Myself a Few Things

I made declarations to my self that I aim to complete.

I like to think of myself as a woman of her word. Mean what I say and say what I mean. Life can get in the way sometimes but I always come back to it.

Somewhere along the way my detour got bumpy. I even got stuck. I pulled myself out of it. Every single time. The rain stopped but it was hard to forget the storm. It doesn’t serve me holding on to the thunder and the lightning. Letting go and staying gone takes practice. I have to try harder than the day before. I promised myself nothing in this world would ever keep me from me, ever again.

I write when I want to write. Jump when I see fit and laugh all of the time. Lines deepening daily. “She laughed a lot.” Is what the wrinkles say. I’ll take that. Laughing at myself mostly for the silly mistakes. The misspellings and misinterpretations. Laughing more about the mishaps bring on an ease to life. None of this is real.

So I vowed to be gentle with myself. Allow myself the time as much time as I need. I know what it’s like to rush. What it’s like when the time is running out. The pressure and adrenaline to beat the clock. I use to get a satisfaction from it. Not anymore. I don’t have a desire to rush to be rushed. Keep going is what I’ve got as long as I’m breathing.

No one or thing will make me lose my mind. I give what I want to give. When I gave more, I got less. Giving became desperation when operating from a deficit. Another lesson learned. So I stopped pouring into bottomless cups. What was I even looking for? What did I think I could get from them? Don’t get desperate. Don’t abandon self.

Victim hood is temporary. Heal however you need to. Rational thoughts arise when you go beyond self. When you consider all things because life isn’t happening to me. I’m apart of it. I contribute to my outcomes.

No matter what, KEEP GOING!

Leo Season

I know our season began in July but, there is nothing like an August Leo, I’m just saying. Shout out to all the lovely Leos!

My birthday is truly special to me! My personal holiday even with a twin. I touched on this a little last post. Go and check it out.

Today is about the personality traits of our kind.

Leo’s are natural leaders. I second that motion! We’ll step up and take control when necessary. This trait can feel burdensome at times. As I’ve aged I’ve stepped back from taking control and only apply when I feel safe to do so. Having a supportive team/partner allows me to show up and show out!

That leads me to our next best trait.

Leo’s love attention. This is true but only the right attention from the right person(s). It’s a one woman show under the right circumstances and the audience will leave me with a standing ovation even a party of one.

Leo’s are generous. To a fault at times. Giving makes me happy to see the joy it brings. If you are lucky enough to experience my time, energy, and opinion that means you are special.

Leo’s are loyal, too loyal. Hardest lessons learned being loyal to the wrong folks.

Leo’s have huge hearts. After all this life living, I managed to stay compassionate and understanding. I can be all the sun rays, baby. All of them.

Leo’s bring the drama. Did I mention my one woman show. It’s a dramatic comedy filled with emotional range that would rival Viola Davis, you hear me. Oscar worthy performance but in real life.

Leo’s are confident. You better know it. At some of my darkest moments I still knew, I’m that B*&$! Could never convince me otherwise. Who else is gonna love me like me.

Lastly, and the most important one to me…

Leo’s are creative. Art is life. Adding razzle and dazzle to every aspect of it makes for a beautiful one and I do have a beautiful life!

Counting down the days until the big 4 0.

Thanks for reading. Take care of Yourself.

Almost Forty

I’ll be forty in about two weeks. I share a birthday with my twin. She will be forty in about two weeks, ha.

It’s official, I’m grown, grown now. The law determines adulthood but you don’t really become an adult until you fully take care of your whole self. Everything else is sort of, kinda.

I was not grown when I aimlessly navigated college from 18 to 22. I was sort of grown when I had my first child at 25 and the second baby at 27. I didn’t feel grown buying a house at 28. I was kinda grown when I got married at 30. I was almost grown when we moved our family across the country at 32. I was looking for the adults to help when life was happening throughout my early to middle thirties.

Somehow we figured out how to grow up. Grownups pay their bills and take care of their responsibilities. I hate responsibility. I’ve daydreamed about a life without them. Why do I have to figure out so much stuff? Deciding what’s best for the family and saving some kind of money. Why can’t I just go to my room and let someone else do it all?! Because I’m grown that’s why.

Adulting, parenting, maturing, partnership, all of these things took so much time and gaining experience. The experiences provided the wisdom. I’ve done enough at this point to know the importance of growing up.

I was mimicking before. Cosplaying if you will. Going about life as if there was in instruction manual. Take these steps and avoid those mistakes and you will be fine. Some of that is true but life is not a one size fits all thing. I got lost and found several times. Lots of unlearning. When the veil was lifted and real life was revealed, I got sad. Then bitter, then sad again. I felt forgotten. I didn’t really know who I was. Bla, bla, bla.

That was not me. I didn’t want to succomb to the negative aspects of what life can give at you. Observe and reflect.

I started listening to high frequency rhythms. Praying more and trying to be quiet. It’s hard to shut up sometimes. I also slowed down. That go, go, go ain’t me no mo.

Defining my life with meaningful actions. I’m a giver and I’ve aligned with the universe to be a receiver. Give to me in abundance, let my cup runneth over. Allow me to shine my light in the most beautiful, impactful ways.

So, come on 40! I’m embracing this coming decade with the warmest of hugs. Closer to my dreams.

Lazy Days and Getaways

Road trip season is upon us and I am here for it. Nothing too far. Six hours max. Save some energy to do an activity after arriving to my destination.

Continuous conversation about anything. Laughter and tears. Hours spent together uninterrupted in a car is quite special when you think about it.

No need for an itinerary. At our leisure. Something and not a thing. Is there any other way?!

Countryside and mountain views.

Construction!

We get there. Settle into home for the weekend.

Near the action. The hustle and the bustle! But I don’t want to hear no noise.

Room service is always cold. Every pool should have a menu and I’m dining out. Where the food at.

Walk where the locals walk. Tour like a tourist.

What’s the lore? Spooky, menacing history. Frighten me! Not too bad.

Gotta get back to my real life. Vacay over.

Drive home the way we came

Memories seared inside my brain.

“The Giving Tree” Let’s Talk About It

I remember the first time I finished reading this book to my children. I would give commentary while reading books to them. It’s giving, very much same energy during movies. My children loved the way I would discuss or give a little extra expression during the story.

The Giving Tree is an award winning, classic American children’s book who’s intention is to convey a mother’s love and sacrifice for her child or children in general because the tree is representing a woman and there is an actual small male child character.

The boy first comes to the tree and enjoys the splendor of its protection. He’s shaded from the sun, fed from her apples and finds comfort under her branches.

The boy leaves for a while. When he returns, he’s no longer a child he’s a young man. The young man has even met someone and needs to make money to start his life, so he asks the tree for a way to make money. Did the tree not have to come up with the idea of giving the young man its apples to sell. The tree shakes free its apples and give them to the young man to sell.

He leaves AGAIN for a while. When the boy who is now a man returns, he doesn’t even ask how the tree has been doing. He doesn’t even care that she no longer bears fruit. He now needs a place to stay. He asks the tree how he can get shelter for himself and that beautiful tree figures out yet again another solution for this man boy. She says, “I’ll give you my branches.” The man boy without hesitation, limb by limb, cuts down her beautiful branches and leaves.

He’s gone even longer this time. No post cards or flowers.

The tree has no shade and bears no fruit, and it still wasn’t enough. The man boy felt entitled to more. The audacity! He returns after he continued to screw his life up, wanting to escape. So he asks for a way to get away from it all. This poor tree, tired and not as vibrant as she once was, solves yet ANOTHER problem for this blood sucking pathogen. She gives the man her trunk for him to make a boat and sail off. He expectantly cut down her beautiful trunk and did what man boys do.

Now the tree is merely a stump.

She gave and gave and gave without a single return. He didn’t have to ask about her. If he cared, it was not shown. He took as long as she was willing to give. He returns one more time. They both are old. The stump is older. The man boy STILL NEEDED HER. He wanted to rest, and this selfless thing provided it.

Why do we condition women to give until they have nothing left?

When I finished reading the last page to my then, small children. I said I’ll never be this tree! It was very hard to conceptualize the messaging in the story. I already gave so much of myself as a mother. As a Wife and Mother! So give when it’s all that I have then give more. Nope!

At the very least, I will raise my children to be capable adults, and they will not be succubus’s to me. I will not be this never-ending supply of whatever they want from me. I will continue to parent them in a more advisory role when they become adults. Birdies gotta fly.

Settling In

I get some time to myself.

The house is empty for a while.

I lay and do nothing, hear nothing, watch not a thing. Gather my thoughts.

Set intentions. Plan them out.

Small victories create momentum. More production. I keep at it.

Vivid images emerge. Keep up.

Ease and Flow

Satisfied Saturdayys

I’ve been experiencing good energy. Being in situations with new people having meaningful conversations.

I felt heard.

I listened.

There was comfort in sharing and laughter too.

It made me feel full.

Regulating my nervous system through intentional practices.

Not forcing a thing.

It’s nice here.

Makes me want to try. Makes me want more.

Good things are coming.